Paper curling under your head collecting dust collecting dirt collecting filth
Rags are silks, just a different color feel different
That’s all.
I have more than you’ll ever have than you can dream about
You have your silks
And your paperpillow
do you need anything else?
Of feces
Of dirt and hatred and guilt and capitalism
I had dinner today.
I had lunch today.
I didn’t have breakfast because I wasn’t hungry.
They fell out a long time ago because you’ve never seen a toothbrush.
Coins are jingling in my pockets.
There’s a hole in my pocket.
I might lose a penny.
Large.
And you wouldn’t smell like the government.
4 comments:
so, this is excellent. the only part that doesn't make sense is this rich-poor dichotomy is "you stink of... guilt and capitalism"... wouldn't the first person narrator(poeteer?) be the one who was guilty and capitalistic? i mean, that's just a logistics problem, otherwise this is superb. the only other part that might use some editing is the "i'd better move the money into the other pocket." it sounds very separate from the rest of the poem and breaks the rhythm somehow. even if you took that sentence out completely it would still make sense... and be more callous.. i might lose a penny.. who cares?!? i really like the fish metaphor. there's something faintly mythological/biblical about it. though i don't know enough to know what. the best lines are: "in your dreams there's a giant fish that swallows you over and over..." and "and you wouldn't smell like the government." that last one is especially killer. okay, this is like an essay now. haha, done.
I like this a lot!
funny how i discover this now!
Post a Comment